


Warmth

by mrspollifax



Series: advent calendar 2020 [7]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Advent Calendar, Established Relationship, Ficlet, Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon, because that is what simon and baz do, doing things from the outside in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:34:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27949142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrspollifax/pseuds/mrspollifax
Summary: I like to look at him. A lot. And I like when he looks at me.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: advent calendar 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2040538
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	Warmth

**Author's Note:**

> Advent Calendar Day 7: Warmth

The cold air hits me hard as I slip out the back door. 

I’m not quite the furnace I once was, when I had my magic. But I still run warm, and besides, there’s a fire pit in the Bunce’s back garden. It’s new, added since Penny’s youngest siblings finally outgrew the playset. I like it, because it gives me someplace to go that’s out of the way, where I’m not tripping over piles of boots and knocking over stacks of books as I try to make my way from the living room to the toilet. Even after everything, Penny’s mum sometimes looks at me like I might still explode the house.

I’m not even sure why I’m here tonight, to be honest. Half the teachers at Watford are inside the house, having wine and party sausages and cheese, and I still don’t entirely feel like I belong. Like maybe Penny and Baz should have come along on their own and left me at home to watch Bake Off and guard the Christmas tree from Penny’s new cat. Last I saw, Penny was arguing some point of theory with her father, and Baz was deep in conversation with Penny’s mum and Miss Possibelf. Even Shep seemed more at home than I felt, eyes pinging back and forth between Penny and her dad. As though he were watching a football match and planning out his turn to dive in for the ball.

It got to be a bit much, so I’d grabbed a plate of snacks and headed out here to light the fire. It’s finally warming up a bit in the circle around the flames, and I’ve sat myself where I can see the house. Because, well … there’s the side of Baz’s head framed in the light of the kitchen window.

I like to look at him. A lot. And I like when he looks at me. And now that I’m properly feeling things again, I really, really like the way it feels when he lifts his eyes from whatever he’s doing and catches me looking. Like he’s just done right now, turning from his conversation and peering through the glass, his gaze finding me without error.

And that? I feel that  _ everywhere. _

We hadn’t really done anything in the right order, Baz and me. Hadn’t gone from awkward conversations to hopeful first dates to holding hands and kissing and saying our first  _ I love yous. _ We’d landed right at  _ I need you forever _ (because we do), and we’d skipped past all the stuff that’s supposed to go in the middle. The butterflies in your stomach and the gooseflesh on the back of your neck. The way your cheeks feel warm just from hearing the sound of the other person’s voice as they come into the room. That heat as your eyes catch and hold and hope. We never got any of that the first time through.

I got a bit mad about it, to be honest. Once I’d started to believe it was something we deserved to have, anyway. One day I’d manage to stutter something out about it to Baz, some roundabout nonsense sentence, but he’d got it immediately. Because he’s the smartest person I know, at least when he’s not got his head stuck up his arse. He’d let me stumble through my words until I came to a very awkward halt, and then he’d touched my hand with the tips of his fingers and asked me out on a proper date.

He’d looked nervous. He’d let me see him looking nervous. And I’d gotten hot on my face and my ears and the back of my neck and stammered out a yes, somehow feeling nervous too.

It was stupid, and normal, and completely amazing. If I’d still had my magic, I’d probably have spawned actual butterflies everywhere to go with the ones in my belly.

I guess that’s why it makes sense for me to be here tonight, even if I don’t feel equipped to trade toasts with the teachers after basically failing myself out of Watford. I mean, I’m Penny’s friend, but I’m Baz’s  _ date. _

It sounds really dumb, and I really love it.

He’s still watching me, but now it’s through the door as he comes out to join me at the fireside. I set my plate aside as he approaches, and I hold out my hand, grabbing his and tugging him down at my side so he can get warm.

“All right, love?” he asks.

I don’t bother to answer in words.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I'm [tulipsandtesseracts](http://tulipsandtesseracts.tumblr.com) on the tumblrs


End file.
